ATTN: SATIRE
*No part of this article is meant to be offensive or taken as truth.* Kelly Walsh Cures Obesity Epidemic Kelly Walsh High School has begun implementing multiple different ways to resolve the obesity epidemic which plagues America. Because healthier food would cost extra money, the school has created new, money-saving ways to keep kids healthy and in shape. Kelly Walsh provides the students daily exercise by letting them walk five to ten minutes from their cars to the school every day. This is an ingenious way to get the blood flowing early in the morning, and the below-zero air is great for stimulating the brain. Some claim that this parking distance is a pain, but the truth is that the KW faculty is implementing tough love purely for the benefit of their students. In fact, much of the faculty goes w...