The "F" Word

Feminism is a dirty word. Kicking men like puppies, belittling mothers who have chosen the family path, burning bras—feminists the world over have become a symbol for man-hatred and aggression.

But this is not and need not be the case.

Feminism: a word symbolizing unity, a word embodying peace and equality, an idea of possibilities for strength and harmony. Feminism should mean women and men standing together, working together for equality—not women working together against men, standing together to belittle the opposite gender.

Feminism—equal pay, equal representation, equal standards. Equal opportunity.

The first feminists did not fight for the right to shun the domestic sphere; rather, they fought for the right to choose the domestic sphere. Mary Wollstonecraft, Susan B. Anthony, Elizabeth Cady Stanton—these women were not anti-family, anti-marriage, or anti-man, only anti-injustice. The traditionalism they opposed boxed them into one corner—cleaning, cooking, caring for children…a help-meet, but one typically without a say. They desired not the right to forsake so-called ‘womanly duties’ but the right to explore other things—to vote, to work, to live as unhindered as men were allowed—as well as to be a wife and mother if they so chose.

Today, we fight a different battle. The misrepresentation of women in the media, rape culture, supposed vulnerability, and society’s standards for women’s clothing and body image are all lingering differences between the sexes in America, as advanced a nation as we are.

In many other countries, women have it far worse off. Where gender equality stood in the early 19th century in the USA is where gender equality stands in multiple countries today. Little to no education for women, little to no political rights, little to no stylistic freedom or freedom of any kind—that is the reality in those places. However, the fact that worse inequality exists elsewhere does not devalue or negate the very real problems which still persist in first-world countries. Gender struggles are struggles, whether they exist on the same level as other struggles or not.

James Bond girls, suggestively clad female superheroes, damsels in distress…these represent the ongoing problem of women’s representation, or should it be said objectification, in the media. In order to fully accomplish gender equality, young girls need realistic, strong role models in pop culture. Heroic princes aren’t always a bad thing—marriage and family are not wrong, simply not a girl’s only place of aptitude—but the media tends to romanticize weakness and submission in women. Most women are perfectly capable of saving themselves—just like men.

As M. Russell Ballard said, “Men and women are equal in God’s eyes...but equal does not mean they are the same.” Gender roles exist in that men and women’s minds are programmed differently and excel in different tasks, but gender roles should not restrict a man or women into only their roles. Men cannot be mothers as equally as women physically can be, but a man may take on that role to the best of his ability if he wishes. We can take on each other’s roles and we should help each other in these roles. As previously stated, marriage should not be adverse to the idea of feminism. It is an undeniable truth that men and women are not biologically identical. Women are physically able to care for children in a way that men are not. The ability to carry, give birth to, and nurture a child is uniquely woman’s; without woman, the human race would cease to exist. We need women who are mothers, women who are gentle and kind.

Gentle is not the same as unassertive.

Women can be wonderful, beautiful mothers and still be strong and independent. Being married is not a sign of dependency; spouses are meant to be partners, equal. A strong, independent woman accepts help and offers it. She knows her worth as a human being, no less or greater than any other man or woman. A strong, independent woman knows her mind, is unafraid to share her opinions, and doesn’t act less intelligent for show. She is respectful of others' beliefs but sticks to her own even under pressure. A strong, independent feminist understands that a woman can be strong and still polite, still considerate, and still supportive of the opposite gender.

It is still polite for a man to open a door for a lady, and it is also polite for a lady to open a door for a man. Human decency includes all people. Men should not be criticized for any attempts at kindness, even if that kindness is a tradition stemming from the belief of women being inherently weak and incapable.

The goal of feminism today is to put a stop to age-old misconceptions surrounding women, portraying them as weak, sexual, dumb, etc. To change the cultural expectations holding women to a drastically different standard than men. To unstitch the traditional instinct calling women a less responsible, less driven, and less capable gender. Although a handful of women prove the stereotypes correct, these stereotypical women do not represent the group as a whole—and this is the case for both men and women. No man is the same as another; every woman is different.

In order for women to achieve better cultural standing and greater equality, we do not need to fight the battle by fighting men. Quite the contrary, these persistent problems falsely staining the reputation of women cannot be dissolved without cooperation between the sexes. If women do not wish to be seen as merely dolls obsessed with fashion and men, they must also allow and advocate for the acceptance of men involved in clothing, music, dance, and other interests popularly categorized as ‘girl stuff.’

When a woman cries, no one is surprised. When a man cries, he is immediately seen as weak, a baby, a woman. When a male employer is strict, firm, and refuses to accept anything less than what is best, he is the norm. When a woman gives assertive orders in a leadership position, she is a tyrant, an unreasonable, an unjust. If she were the man, not a comment against her would be made. Cruelty, opinion, and harshness in a woman are tolerated far less easily than in a man. It should be alright for a man to cry; it should be alright for a woman to be firm with her subordinates. Hypocrisy has no place with equality.

‘Pro-women’ does not mean ‘anti-men’ and gender equality is no longer a woman-only crusade. Let us not be just ‘feminists.’ Let us all be champions for justice.

Happy International Women's Day.